I know it’s a little early to surmise the lesson I’ve learned in life. Still early, obviously I haven’t reached the peak or the end.
It is fair enough to say that life has been good to me. If given a chance to die and live all over again. I will definitely choose to live my life. You see not all people are given the chance to meet their soul mate, but I did. In this lifetime I’ve experienced living with my soul mate. Maybe, not for life but I had a glimpse of what is it like living with the one you truly are in rhythm with. We were in sync in many ways. Even on many instances where we felt like we were psychics, seeing the future actions, decisions and words in each others eyes. In computer language, we were compatible with each other.
But like everything else in this world, there is no permanent thing but change. Like a beautiful song, the music has ended. Like the song on top of the chart. We could only hear it until the clamor stops and the song will end up in the archive of most popular song of the era….and everything else will become history.
My soul mate and I were history.
I will not mourn for the lose anymore. I’ve lost a lot of water through intense, impulsive, spontaneous outburst that my tear ducts now complain of shortage. I will not be bitter anymore. So what if he’s already having a high time with his new beau. I don’t care… I’ve had my heyday. So why sulk.
Instead of brooding, I’ve reflected, and enumerated the lessons I've learned. Now I've come up with the lists of what to do:
1. To give importance where and whom importance is due.
2. To share quality time, just stop, touch the heart of your love ones, and enjoy the moment.
3. Never be too self-absorbed, remember that the planet doesn’t revolve on you alone.
4. If you need warmth, isn’t it fair enough to think that your partner needs the same warmth, being depressed isn't an excuse for being cold.
5. And in your most miserable moment and you're drowning at it, don’t! I repeat! Don’t seek comfort on another person rather let your partner have the benefit of sharing the moment with you. It's the best comfort you will get believe me.
My nanay often told me, that you’ll learn your lessons in life after the gloom. I’ve learned mine way too late. Come On! I was just being human and passive at that. I can always cry after it sank in, and be left with nothing but hope for the dawn.
The only consolation I had in life is that I’ve been given the chance to test my ground again, though I had practiced the best defense mechanism known to man (I had to or else I’ll end up in an insane asylum). I managed to use it successfully and have helped me a lot in coping with loses...... And I thought I was over it and was completely healed till I saw him again... I can't control the impulse of staring at his face while he sleeps quietly...I even gave him a peck on the cheek... can’t control the urge to be close and feel him again. And Oh! I’ve done the unforgivable, I fell all over again.......guess I have to start from scratch in lesson Forgetting 101.
Now, I know what I feared most. You see, I have had a very predictable life ever since we were together. I was on a panic mode when he slipped away, having been awaken from a deep coma of relaxation, I really don't know where and when to start all over again… that's what I feared most. Now fully awake and with an armor decked with lessons I’ve learned as a shield. (Hey! I've even thrown away my Forgetting 101 book). I am determined to get what I want most in life, I know I have to work very hard to regain it, but who says this will be easy. I've experienced glory and lost...there's no stopping me in recouping it. Dare to try?
