Lucid Moments

Memories, are intangible pictures of the heart. Hidden in different recesses of one’s being. In these times of madness, precious memories of my past keeps me up and gives me hope to move on with life.

The story of my life is not the usual one, were a woman met a man, fell in love, walk the aisle to promise forever and wait for the babies to come. It is not usual in the sense that we, the man I fell in love with and I, didn’t take the usual route. No courtship, just friendship. No relationship but passionate alliance then an angel came. My love for him started when we lost our first angel , with regards to his love for me, I really didn’t know when it started.

Then the second angel came, a smiling blessing. She completed our life, the missing link that filled in the gaps.

Our life as parents was simple yet a comical challenge…. You see we didn’t start a family living in a palace. We started our family with merely, 2 plates, 2 pairs of spoon and fork, 2 glasses, thick foam for a bed and an ever dependable electric fan. There were the lean times where we don’t know where to get money for our babies’ formula, but we didn’t take it as a problem, we took it as a challenge. We would stop, sit and look into each others eyes then smile. I really didn’t know if the smiling, the sitting or the looking in each others eyes did the magic, but miraculously things like that were solved with no arguments.

In our life as partners, it is not usual for a partner to be honest with his extra affairs but in our partnership it is a must to be honest. Share your secrets with all honesty; relieve yourself of burden, then forgiveness and understanding follows. Our friends are worried with the kind of relationship we have. They always say that I’m not normal, martyr or insane. I just say I’m just in love, I understand, I don’t own him, neither I am his keeper, he is free to do whatever he wants as long as it doesn’t violate my territorial boundary, which includes my children and our home. I just can’t give him everything he wants. In reality, making one complete isn’t reasonably true.

There was only one time that we argued and I hated every minute of it. I’m not a person of discord. I hate confrontations as much as I hate seeing tears in our eyes just because of petty things we need not dwell into seriously.

In our 6 years of being together I can’t remember a time where we ever slept without playing, tickling, talking about each others day and sharing each others deepest thoughts. Decisions were made by us and we are liberal with regards to compliments and encouragement. There is definitely no secret. I’ve had the best times of my life during those years. I don’t know about how he felt with those years, but as for me, I had the best.

Now, that the story of our life has ended. I will now put these lucid moments back where it belongs, locked in the middle of my heart. Someday, somehow I’ll find the courage to throw away the keys, move forward and never look back.